The first time I saw it, I knew it was somehow important. It was imposing, roughly 3 times my height, and it had the presence of a 1950s screen goddess 20-years past her prime – bold enough in its textured reddish brown hue to be impossible to ignore, and weathered enough to transmit the quality of having lived a very interesting life. Its massive wooden double doors were closed - so I bid the mysterious wall good-bye for the evening.
I had just arrived – knapsack and travel guide in hand – in Seville from Madrid. I travelled alone, but I had a constant companion. Antonio Machado, my darling Spanish poet, and his spare, simple, luminous poetry kept my company. As I turned away from the towering wall in front of me, I remembered that I had no accommodation booked and I suddenly felt displaced. I reached for my compilation volume of Antonio’s poetry published just after his death in 1939. Antonio’s words rose from the page:
Traveller, your footprints
are the only road, nothing else.
Traveller there is no road;
You make your own path as you walk.
On that first evening – in the high tourist season of summer - I walked until I found decent lodging just before the night turned to its deepest shade of dark. Tired, I was discouraged by not having found time to make arrangements for the one central purpose of my trip – seeing the Alcazar palace. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to experience at Alcazar, but I knew it was somehow important to see it.
The Alcazar of Sevilla, is a Mudejar style palace that was constructed by the Spanish monarch Pedro the Cruel in the late thirteen hundreds. This Spanish Royal palace is one of the best surviving examples of Mudejar architecture, an incredibly attractive design style that is based on Islamic architectural principles and decorative motifs.
Mudejar meaning “permitted to remain” was the name given to the Muslims who stayed in Spain after the reconquest of Spain by the Christian monarchs. The Mudejars were highly skilled craftsmen who created the Mudejar style which is a beautiful mixture of Arabic and Spanish artistic elements. The Mudejar style is marked by the use of detailed ivory, wood, and ceramic work. Importantly, unlike Christian influenced architecture, which usually reproduces images literally, showing the human form and showing objects exactly as they are in real life, in Muslim design people and objects are rarely shown. Instead the Muslims (Mudejars) believed in representing in an abstract way the beauty of the forms found in God’s creation. They honour the wonders and magnificence that God has given to his subjects by recreating in their decoration, carving and art, the forms and patterns that are seen in every day nature. For example, instead of a painting of God and his angels, the Mudejar’s incorporated exquisite, intricate, symmetrical, carved, and painted ceiling designs that simulate the stars in the sky. It was by connecting with the gifts of nature that the Mudejars believed we could most clearly see, touch, and appreciate God.
The next morning (after my arrival in Seville) I was hurrying to nowhere in particular, through the large central square with the Cathedral of Seville to the right of me, and a few hundred steps ahead and to the left of me... there she was. Her doors were open and she was flirtatiously giving passers-by a glimpse what lay behind. She had already caught bees with her honey – she had suitors patiently waiting. There was a long line of people at her gate. My feet slowed but did not stop.
Antonio, my old & wise friend, whispered to me:
And when you look back
You see the path
You will never travel again.
My feet came to a standstill and then my heart pulled me in the direction of the wall.
When I crossed the threshold of her gateway I entered into an outdoor room defined by partial walls with large cut-outs aimed at selectively framing the view of the gardens and the compound. This small room with its 9 foot ceiling was like a gracious host – it seemed to hug me, and offer a place for repose, before gently steering me in the direction of the rest of the compound. As I exited the room, a garden that made my lips smile and my thoughts float, revealed itself. The area was clothed in plants much like the women who I watched in admiration during my adolescence – like those real women this garden avoided the fashionable and over-manicured, and was adorned a style that and appeared to supremely suit its Spanish-Muslim personality. Bougainvillea in tropical colours flowed over unevenly toned walls (a nod to its Spanish context). Flowers, though laid out in perfect symmetry were unrestrained and not tortured into unnaturally neat compositions (a nod to its Islamic creators). Here was a garden that balanced exuberance and contemplation consummately – this beauty presented exactly what was needed and omitted everything else.
At the edge of the end of the garden, was a courtyard surrounded by three wings of a building that incorporated elegant archways and exquisite tile artistry. I knew it was somehow important. I pulled out my travel guide and confirmed – my search was over –the Alcazar of Sevilla had found me!
As my heart came to a standstill and my feet pulled me in the direction of the palace, I could sense Antonio was smiling. He gently echoed:
Traveller, there is no road
only a ship’s wake on the sea.
And I finally heard him. I had known it was important. To be spontaneous, to every now and then be washed away by a tide of curiosity, to sometimes let go and trust that your journey will lead you to your destination. But in that moment looking at the most impressive architectural structure had seen in my life, I realized why it was important. It was important because the journey is a part of the destination. Our appreciation of where we arrive at (our destination) is usually intimately submerged in the magic, the coincidences, and the near-misses of the path we walk to get there. And along the way – if we listen carefully to friendly voices and know what our destination looks like – it seems we stumble unto our central purpose just when we are hurrying on our way to nowhere in particular.
(August 2008)
_________________________
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Best Seller (CC3)
Before raunchy romantic paperbacks, before bone-chilling suspense novels, before empowering personal development books became a billion dollar industry, there was one book that combined intrigue with drama, action packed tales with gripping scenes of horror, and self help advice with guidelines for a purposeful life. This best-selling book is the Bible.
The Bible is a fast paced book from the very beginning. In the first few pages of the opening chapter, the story of the Garden of Eden unfolds. Here we can see the first instance of a pattern that has played out numerous times since. It goes like this: Man gives up a rib (in today’s world the equivalent of a lot of time, money and effort) to get the woman. For a while all is well, then they take things for granted – he becomes inattentive, she becomes bored. Sensing weakness, a third-party enters the picture and creates division between them. Eventually both the woman and the man commit an act that splinters their relationship. And of course, when confronted with the mess they have both made of things, the man blames it all on the woman.
The Garden of Eden should be required reading for every one considering marriage.
If you read the first chapter and are still infatuated with couple-dom, you will thoroughly enjoy the 22nd chapter of the Bible, called the Song of Solomon. This is probably one of the first love song duets ever captured in writing. If you need lines to heat up the passion in your relationship, this is the place to go for ideas. In the song, a couple utter loving nothings back and forth:
She speaks: Kiss me tenderly!
Your love is better than wine,
And you smell so sweet.
...the very mention of your name is like spreading perfume.
Let the north wind blow
Let it spread the aroma
Of my garden,
So that the one I love
May enter and taste
Its delicious fruits.
And not to be out-done He says: My darling, I love you!
You are my dove.
Let me hear the sound
Of your melodious voice.
Your lips are crimson cords,
Your mouth is shapely;
Behind your veil are hidden
Beautiful rosy cheeks.
Turn away your eyes –
They make me melt.
Those are some of the mentionable parts of the Song of Solomon. There are descriptions and cooing that are scandalous – I can’t share those among polite company, you have to read those yourself. One reading of this beautiful song and it is clear that romance Old Testament style was not that different from romance in the New Internet-age.
The Bible is also one of the best self help books ever written. So often we worry about whether or not we are worthy to lead. However, the Bible is a great place to wake up to reality and realize that from time immemorial people have risen to leadership not because they were perfect but in spite of their short-comings. David had the capabilities of a seasoned commander before he was even an adult as he displayed in his epic battle with the giant Goliath which is detailed in the Bible. David had such a unique mix of respectfulness, confidence, and courage that the son of his greatest rival stood with him and became his closest ally. Yet David was not flawless – he sent a man to his death because he wanted the man’s wife, and his personal life had some rather unrighteous moments. Then there was Joseph who rose to become an administrator so astute his plans saved the people of Egypt from being ravaged by a long famine. Joseph was a boastful, egotistical child and later a jail-bird before he learnt how to use his wings and eventually soared to leadership.
I find the Bible very comforting. If you need a reminder to give yourself a break and cut yourself some slack, consult the Bible. When I struggle with my speeches I relax myself by thinking of Moses. Here was man so worthy and exceptional that God personally handpicked him to lead a nation to the Promised Land and deliver the 10 Commandments to the world. Moses with all this great power had an ungodly fear of public speaking. He is recorded in Exodus, in the Bible as saying to God:
“I have never been a good speaker.
I wasn’t before you spoke to me, and I am not one now.
I am slow at speaking, and I never think of what to say. ...
Please send someone else to do it.”
The first public speech on record required a miracle to be successful; no wonder public speaking is regarded as intimidating to this day.
What the Bible doesn’t say can be as interesting as what it does say. The last verses of the book of Proverbs are dedicated to describing “a Good Wife”.
It praises her: “She works hard...
She is strong and graceful
As well as cheerful
Her words are sensible...
And her advice is thoughtful...”
I read that section of Proverbs and think “why is there no equivalent passage on the ‘Good Husband’ “? A friend of mine has suggested that it is because the Bible draws the line at miracles, it does not stretch to impossible fantasy.
The Bible is relevant, inspiring and racy because – after we strip away the narrow label of religious text and the limited perception of it being a stiff book about rules – it’s really a collection of stories about people – flawed, wonderful, colourful people like ourselves. So forget the trashy paperback books and pick-up your Bible during the summer. Who knows, by the time the winter evenings roll around, you may have learnt a thing or two that helps you to keep warmer. And if not, I’m sure in this literary masterpiece you’ll come across some other wisdom that you’ll think is just heavenly.
(July 2008)
_______________________________
The Bible is a fast paced book from the very beginning. In the first few pages of the opening chapter, the story of the Garden of Eden unfolds. Here we can see the first instance of a pattern that has played out numerous times since. It goes like this: Man gives up a rib (in today’s world the equivalent of a lot of time, money and effort) to get the woman. For a while all is well, then they take things for granted – he becomes inattentive, she becomes bored. Sensing weakness, a third-party enters the picture and creates division between them. Eventually both the woman and the man commit an act that splinters their relationship. And of course, when confronted with the mess they have both made of things, the man blames it all on the woman.
The Garden of Eden should be required reading for every one considering marriage.
If you read the first chapter and are still infatuated with couple-dom, you will thoroughly enjoy the 22nd chapter of the Bible, called the Song of Solomon. This is probably one of the first love song duets ever captured in writing. If you need lines to heat up the passion in your relationship, this is the place to go for ideas. In the song, a couple utter loving nothings back and forth:
She speaks: Kiss me tenderly!
Your love is better than wine,
And you smell so sweet.
...the very mention of your name is like spreading perfume.
Let the north wind blow
Let it spread the aroma
Of my garden,
So that the one I love
May enter and taste
Its delicious fruits.
And not to be out-done He says: My darling, I love you!
You are my dove.
Let me hear the sound
Of your melodious voice.
Your lips are crimson cords,
Your mouth is shapely;
Behind your veil are hidden
Beautiful rosy cheeks.
Turn away your eyes –
They make me melt.
Those are some of the mentionable parts of the Song of Solomon. There are descriptions and cooing that are scandalous – I can’t share those among polite company, you have to read those yourself. One reading of this beautiful song and it is clear that romance Old Testament style was not that different from romance in the New Internet-age.
The Bible is also one of the best self help books ever written. So often we worry about whether or not we are worthy to lead. However, the Bible is a great place to wake up to reality and realize that from time immemorial people have risen to leadership not because they were perfect but in spite of their short-comings. David had the capabilities of a seasoned commander before he was even an adult as he displayed in his epic battle with the giant Goliath which is detailed in the Bible. David had such a unique mix of respectfulness, confidence, and courage that the son of his greatest rival stood with him and became his closest ally. Yet David was not flawless – he sent a man to his death because he wanted the man’s wife, and his personal life had some rather unrighteous moments. Then there was Joseph who rose to become an administrator so astute his plans saved the people of Egypt from being ravaged by a long famine. Joseph was a boastful, egotistical child and later a jail-bird before he learnt how to use his wings and eventually soared to leadership.
I find the Bible very comforting. If you need a reminder to give yourself a break and cut yourself some slack, consult the Bible. When I struggle with my speeches I relax myself by thinking of Moses. Here was man so worthy and exceptional that God personally handpicked him to lead a nation to the Promised Land and deliver the 10 Commandments to the world. Moses with all this great power had an ungodly fear of public speaking. He is recorded in Exodus, in the Bible as saying to God:
“I have never been a good speaker.
I wasn’t before you spoke to me, and I am not one now.
I am slow at speaking, and I never think of what to say. ...
Please send someone else to do it.”
The first public speech on record required a miracle to be successful; no wonder public speaking is regarded as intimidating to this day.
What the Bible doesn’t say can be as interesting as what it does say. The last verses of the book of Proverbs are dedicated to describing “a Good Wife”.
It praises her: “She works hard...
She is strong and graceful
As well as cheerful
Her words are sensible...
And her advice is thoughtful...”
I read that section of Proverbs and think “why is there no equivalent passage on the ‘Good Husband’ “? A friend of mine has suggested that it is because the Bible draws the line at miracles, it does not stretch to impossible fantasy.
The Bible is relevant, inspiring and racy because – after we strip away the narrow label of religious text and the limited perception of it being a stiff book about rules – it’s really a collection of stories about people – flawed, wonderful, colourful people like ourselves. So forget the trashy paperback books and pick-up your Bible during the summer. Who knows, by the time the winter evenings roll around, you may have learnt a thing or two that helps you to keep warmer. And if not, I’m sure in this literary masterpiece you’ll come across some other wisdom that you’ll think is just heavenly.
(July 2008)
_______________________________
Invitation (CC2)
Good morning! I would like to issue an invitation to you to have an experience that, if you let it, will expand the way you perceive life, cause you to have more humility in dealing with people, give you a greater appreciation of your blessings, and improve your understanding of your values. This morning I invite you to experience failure.
I have failed many times in different areas of my life. I have found that there are real failures and pseudo-failures. There are instances where I may feel regret at an outcome but I was never really committed to the goal and so it was easy to comfort myself with excuses and not take responsibility. Also, there is so-called failure that ultimately flips into a nice, neat, successful happy ending; where after experiencing set-backs and impossible odds I persevere to win and ride off into the sunset a hero. Those are pseudo-failures; those are not the cases of failure I am encouraging you to examine. Today the failures I am I referring to are those gut wrenching moments we have experienced and will again experience, where despite our best efforts and full commitment, the outcome is unpleasantly and irretrievably different from our desired goal. For me they include the times when I communicated the most appropriate way I knew how but still was unable to have the content of the message not ruin a valued relationship; or when in one of the international field hockey competitions I participated in every game got more painful and every day I watched the accelerating disintegration of my formerly functional team-members into scared, disconnected individuals.
My invitation to experience real failure may be somewhat difficult for you to accept. I have myself oftentimes found it very hard to constructively relate to the failures I have experienced. At the same time, until I figure out how we can eliminate failure from our life and successfully develop and grow mentally, ethically, spiritually, and productively, I believe we have to find a way to make peace with the times when life does not go according to plan.
In 2000, I had one of the single most depressing moments of my adult life. I received “the list”. It came innocently packaged as just another white envelope in the mail. On the front it carried a Canadian stamp and strangely, it appeared it was addressed in my own handwriting.
I had forgotten that five years earlier, in the final semester of my MBA at the University of Western Ontario, each member of the class had been handed a letter sized piece of paper and asked to write on it 5 things – personal or career related - that we intended to accomplish within 5 years. Unsuspecting of the future havoc this would cause me, I obediently and with some excitement completed and handed in my list.
Five years later, that piece of paper brought the me that I had hoped to be face to face with the me that I had become. It was not a pleasant meeting. The me on paper had hobbies, a family, and a rewarding career. The me that I had actually become had one job that felt like two, and little time for a personal life or hobbies. With the exception of the career related items, I had failed miserably in achieving the items on my list.
In the introspection that followed I realised that what cut me so deeply was not the non-achievement of specific items themselves, rather it was that the non-achievement reflected back at me a total collapse and stifling of aspects of myself that I regarded as intrinsic to my personality. I had faded to a work email address and a flattering performance rating. It was alarming to me to discover - I had a price.
I know experiencing failure is not easy. In my case, when I opened the envelope with the list I felt the paper cut immediately, but it took days & weeks for me to acknowledge that I was bleeding, and months for me to attend to the wound. Thankfully by experiencing the failure I found the answers and motivation I needed to get healthy - years later when I looked at my life I could give it a clean bill of health.
There is a powerful distinction between failure and experiencing failure. In my opinion failure is meaningless; left alone it subtracts, it adds nothing. To give failure positive meaning we have to have the consciousness and the courage to open the door and ask failure to sit with us and help us understand why our results are different from our intentions. And then we have to listen to the answer and act. I hope you one day accept my invitation.
(July 2008)
_______________________
I have failed many times in different areas of my life. I have found that there are real failures and pseudo-failures. There are instances where I may feel regret at an outcome but I was never really committed to the goal and so it was easy to comfort myself with excuses and not take responsibility. Also, there is so-called failure that ultimately flips into a nice, neat, successful happy ending; where after experiencing set-backs and impossible odds I persevere to win and ride off into the sunset a hero. Those are pseudo-failures; those are not the cases of failure I am encouraging you to examine. Today the failures I am I referring to are those gut wrenching moments we have experienced and will again experience, where despite our best efforts and full commitment, the outcome is unpleasantly and irretrievably different from our desired goal. For me they include the times when I communicated the most appropriate way I knew how but still was unable to have the content of the message not ruin a valued relationship; or when in one of the international field hockey competitions I participated in every game got more painful and every day I watched the accelerating disintegration of my formerly functional team-members into scared, disconnected individuals.
My invitation to experience real failure may be somewhat difficult for you to accept. I have myself oftentimes found it very hard to constructively relate to the failures I have experienced. At the same time, until I figure out how we can eliminate failure from our life and successfully develop and grow mentally, ethically, spiritually, and productively, I believe we have to find a way to make peace with the times when life does not go according to plan.
In 2000, I had one of the single most depressing moments of my adult life. I received “the list”. It came innocently packaged as just another white envelope in the mail. On the front it carried a Canadian stamp and strangely, it appeared it was addressed in my own handwriting.
I had forgotten that five years earlier, in the final semester of my MBA at the University of Western Ontario, each member of the class had been handed a letter sized piece of paper and asked to write on it 5 things – personal or career related - that we intended to accomplish within 5 years. Unsuspecting of the future havoc this would cause me, I obediently and with some excitement completed and handed in my list.
Five years later, that piece of paper brought the me that I had hoped to be face to face with the me that I had become. It was not a pleasant meeting. The me on paper had hobbies, a family, and a rewarding career. The me that I had actually become had one job that felt like two, and little time for a personal life or hobbies. With the exception of the career related items, I had failed miserably in achieving the items on my list.
In the introspection that followed I realised that what cut me so deeply was not the non-achievement of specific items themselves, rather it was that the non-achievement reflected back at me a total collapse and stifling of aspects of myself that I regarded as intrinsic to my personality. I had faded to a work email address and a flattering performance rating. It was alarming to me to discover - I had a price.
I know experiencing failure is not easy. In my case, when I opened the envelope with the list I felt the paper cut immediately, but it took days & weeks for me to acknowledge that I was bleeding, and months for me to attend to the wound. Thankfully by experiencing the failure I found the answers and motivation I needed to get healthy - years later when I looked at my life I could give it a clean bill of health.
There is a powerful distinction between failure and experiencing failure. In my opinion failure is meaningless; left alone it subtracts, it adds nothing. To give failure positive meaning we have to have the consciousness and the courage to open the door and ask failure to sit with us and help us understand why our results are different from our intentions. And then we have to listen to the answer and act. I hope you one day accept my invitation.
(July 2008)
_______________________
Me (CC1)
I grappled a lot with how best to go about my objective today of sharing something about myself with you. How I see the world is entangled in and shaped by where I was born. Therefore, I decided that to get to know me, you have to take a trip with me to my homeland.
There is a side of Jamaica that is industrious and persistent and loving and ambitious and able to make wine out of water. For me the community of Portmore, where I lived most of my formative years before attending secondary school, exemplified this. Portmore (just 1 hour or so north-east of the Norman Manley airport) was a new lower middle income residential community when my newly divorced mother in the late 1970s rustled up just enough money to make the down-payment on a new 2-bedroom house. It was a bold and scary and challenging move for her, as I’m sure it was for many of those soon to become our neighbors. Firstly, it was challenging because my mom was a teacher, aka “financially broke”. Secondly, Portmore was created by reclaiming land area from the sea (what we refer to in
You will be surprised to know that Portmore and our little house did not sink. In fact Portmore and the humanity of the connections formed there was the foundation on which my little-girl world found a very merry stability.
Foundation lesson 1 from my Portmore sojourn: Friends are like chocolates without the calories.
Shortly after moving in, my sister and I made the wonderful discovery that a pair of similarly aged sisters was our back-door neighbors.
As luck would have it they believed in grasping the opportunity for mischief with the same unbridled enthusiasm we did. The older of the two – the girly girl of the group - taught us how to put on lipstick, and I – the tomboy – taught our gang how to climb over fences quickly … a skill that came in handy for running from our mothers when they got hopping mad because they had again found us wearing the lipstick out of the house after telling us for the millionth time that this was not allowed.
Foundation lesson 2: Speak up.
The beach was 15 minutes away from where we lived. 15 minutes by car that is. And since we could never get enough of the beach, when our mothers couldn’t take us we decided it made sense to hitch-hike. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Actually our hitch-hiking excursions went smoothly and uneventfully until one Saturday when both our mothers compared notes and realized that we were tanned and neither of them was, and hence deduced that we had gone off to the beach on our-foursome lonesome. I was unconcerned – I was the youngest in the group, the worse case for me was getting a strong and stern talking to and I was ready to counter that with a very convincing, well practiced stream of silent tears flowing from sad downward cast eyes. But I figured my sister – poor thing – was in big trouble. Luckily she had teenage spunk on her side … she and the older of our two friends presented an excellent case of “I’m insulted you don’t think we’re old enough to get to the beach safely” and actually convinced the moms that they had planned things out relatively sanely. Amazingly thereafter – once it was all four of us and we followed certain rules – we got the OK to go to off on our own every now and then.
Foundation lesson 3: No money, no problem.
Because we all came from households where we had heard the phrase “Money doesn’t grow on trees young lady!” way too many times, we sniffed out the best places to go for a little no-cost fun. The hottest ticket in town – the neighborhood churches. Our band of four discovered that church provided the equivalent of free karaoke sessions on praise and worship days, and that communion Sunday was a wonderful opportunity to have a small taste of the closest thing we were going to get to wine (if anyone noticed that we rejoined the line several times, they were too polite to say anything about it).
In closing therefore allow me to introduce myself: I’m Monique French a consistently ambitious and inconsistently loving Jamaican, who tries daily to remember that friends are one of the sweetest parts of life, that it’s important to speak-up even when others do not share my view, and that enjoying life may not always be easy but it is cheap.
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